Is Stalking the New Way to Network? No?

It is an internet-driven world and networking for the millennial generation clearly means, reaching people online. Long-lost families have been united, friends and lovers have met, businesses and professionals have connected by the mere act of searching, browsing profiles, and clicking the invite/add button!

Somewhere between staying proactive and digitally literate to connect with the right individuals on social media, there lingers a subtle doubt--are we stalking?

Years into the writing (content development) business, I noticed how a small change in my LinkedIn profile could get views and new connections. Unlike my naive, optimistic, and much younger self, the new me is aware that the majority of the online attention I receive across social media platforms is the result of my connections' curiosity and insatiable need to network.

On the other hand, stalking prevails as an uncomfortable truth that every professional like me with a certain degree of online visibility would experience daily.  But herein lies the paradox, making me question the practice of networking most of the time 'veiled' as 'harmless stalking' and vice versa. Often, I question and wish to know the reason to network. 

After meeting a bunch of younger, tech-savvier, and always-online counter-parts, I discovered there are a whole new set of rules, defining online behavior when it comes to both networking and stalking:

• There is a thin line between networking and stalking.
•  Stalking is a loosely defined term, ranging anywhere from obsession-induced online following to a harmless profile viewing and searching with the hope to build contacts.
• Harmless stalking is mostly curiosity-driven and a benign practice with the potential for  fruitful (both professional and personal) connections.

Ted Bundy was Curious Too!

Their perception about stalking as a common online practice to leverage the access to connection's resources stupefied me. In fact, I was almost convinced into believing that stalking veers somewhere within 'somewhat acceptable' (if the sole intent was to appease one's curiosity).

What if a notorious someone wants to fulfill their curiosity of knowing what you look like or where you live, looked you up online!!! (Ekks)

That's curiosity too!

I come from a generation (not too old though) that prefers some privacy and out-rightly judges the audience that wishes to have a sneak-peak at my employment, education, and life record. I categorize my audience based on their behaviors after accepting their follow/add request. For me, it's strictly business if it is on professional networks like LinkedIn.  Not too long ago, I strongly opposed the idea of pinging my colleagues (especially my bosses) thinking it was too unprofessional. Well, that was nearly four years ago, I was slow in adapting to changes involving tech-enabled communication and online relations.

The reality of today's 10-20 somethings has more to do with the apps and DMs. It can begin with a simple Google search, followed by finding the profiles on Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, adding or inviting to un-following and blocking profiles and numbers (both online and on device).

A bit of 'millennialism' rubbed off on me and I quickly caught up with 'who stalks whom' from the insights on people who may have accidentally looked into my stories on Facebook and Instagram. I have witnessed pseudo-relations, pseudo-cultures, and groups emerging on platforms that have dangerously replaced healthy, offline socialization.  Comments are taken more personally and profile owners' egos inflate and deflate as per the likes and comments. 

Sometimes online shopping, dating, carpooling and online payment apps simplify identifying and reaching a person on social media and professional networking platforms. It is never surprising to find the undesired pleasantries on Messenger and view on LinkedIn profile from a person whose ride you just took on a carpool app.

Initially, it felt as if Facebook was not enough. They went on to develop the Facebook Messenger app that stays even after deactivating your profile.  Whoever created the line, 'Not every friendship request on Facebook is a friend request. Some are just surveillance cameras,' were not lying!

Is There A Middle Ground?

After some digital warm-up in the days when I clearly envisioned myself pursuing a career in Journalism, I decided to move away from the online-shy and taciturn image. I saw a burning need for network and gain some tangible merits of connecting with the right people at the right time. That's how I managed to land my internship, find paid modeling assignments and writing opportunities.

But, I guarantee that my methods of networking have always been within ethical boundaries and never spilled out of the lines, making things too uncomfortable. And that's how I distinguish between a healthy, harmless online browsing that seem like stalking, and stalking:

• Connecting with someone from work, gym, yoga class, or anywhere on social media without meeting or connecting with them in the offline world can be construed as stalking. Not only it suggests the person knows you but also, for very quaint reasons prefers to know your personal details on social media.

• Salutations like Hello Dear!, Hey Sweetie, Dearest and Hey Frraannd/friend sent out on LinkedIn messages and Inmails are too unprofessional and inappropriate to be taken seriously.

• Complimenting someone for their looks, dress and hairstyle is 'INAPPROPRIATE' on a professional network, especially if it happens to be someone you don't know personally. On social media, I have used the Block feature too often to tackle this behavior from strangers.

• Browsing through profiles and images to know someone's marital and relationship status is a bit too obvious.

• It is always polite to ask if it is OK to add someone on Facebook or Instagram if it is an individual whom you know professionally.

• Downloading images or sharing with a secretive "I Hate XYZ" group is too juvenile. Please get a life.

With the turn of the century, there are many behaviors like cyber-bullying, harassment, implicit threats, and blackmail tolerated with our growing dependency on social media and networking platforms. Even though it seems flattering to have a follow request from an office crush or an ardent fan base of strangers grows on Instagram, it's imperative to draw strict boundaries. 

Bottom-line, not all harmless likes and connections on LinkedIn mean stalking. And not all methods of stalking should be written off as mild inquisitiveness. 

And lastly, networking and stalking are different!

What are your thoughts on this?